I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
