I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
