youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize