you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
