First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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