The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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