just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
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Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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