im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
