glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
