i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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