grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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