You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
