Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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