I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Don't make out with my wife yet
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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