i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
