Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
