ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
