Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize