my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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