tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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