dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
