my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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