i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
