I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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