Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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