im gay
i know
yea but for you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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