what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
