All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
