maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I had to cum in my sink.
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