roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
