You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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