after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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