So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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