We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
My vagina just recognized that song.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
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It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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