Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
