You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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