i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
