atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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