Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
