Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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