Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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