I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize