You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
