What a fucking waste of an outfit
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Text me some of your sweat
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