I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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