He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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