i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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