Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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