i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
