She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
