Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
