Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it was like eating out sand paper
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
