I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
