i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
