How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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