we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
