you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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