I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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