I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
