We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she smelled like a LAN party
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
