yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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