The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize