Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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