I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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