how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
