craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
