Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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